😃 Finding Real Happiness and Leveraging Kindness (+ Latest Deals)


👋 Hi all, Chris here! With so many terrible things happening in the world lately, I thought it’d be good to spend this week talking about happiness.

Is seeking happiness a worthwhile goal? Is it something we can actually achieve? Or just an elusive pot of gold at the end of a rainbow? Perhaps it’s more of a journey with no final destination. While we all may have different takes on the ways in which happiness pays us a visit and how long it stays, we know it’s something we all want. Below are some creative ways you can spread it to your own world and those around you!

As always, please reply and let me know what you think and share ways you experience or pass on happiness in your lives. And if you like this email, please consider sharing it with someone you think might enjoy it too!


😃 What is Happiness?

It’s not all just feelings and emotions – there’s actually a science to happiness. I really dug into the topic after coming across the work of Arthur Brooks, who teaches on the topic at Harvard and recently published the #1 NYTimes Bestseller “From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life.” He defines happiness as “a balance and abundance of enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose” and if there’s a deficit in any or all of these areas, your happiness levels will go down.

When Arthur joined me on Episode 47 we discussed how doing the wrong type of work for your stage of life can be a big reason our happiness declines over time. He points out that it’s because our “fluid intelligence” (e.g. analytic speed and problem-solving ability) follows a curve that increases through our 30s and then starts to decline, which often leaves people doing similar work in their late 30s, 40s and 50s feeling like they’re burning out.

Source: From Strength to Strength

However, Arthur explained that there’s a second curve based on our “crystallized intelligence” (e.g. accumulated knowledge or wisdom) that we can find much more happiness on. The challenge is that it often means moving from the analyst/innovator to the manager/teacher, which can often mean changing jobs and is quite stressful.

He shared how Charles Darwin, who came up with his theory of natural selection at age 27, continued to try and innovate for decades, but couldn’t keep up with younger scientists, never transitioned to his 2nd curve, and died frustrated at 73. He juxtaposed that with Johann Sebastian Bach, considered by many to be the greatest composer of all time. Instead of getting stuck when he couldn’t keep up with the new styles of music coming out, he switched from writing original music to teaching what he knew so well. Moving from innovator to instructor left him very happy in old age.

While I’m not sure if I’m ready to jump curves yet, I was interested to know if there were any other habits I could adopt to maximize happiness. Arthur shared four things (the “Good 4”) we can invest in that pay dividends towards happiness: Faith, Family, Friends and Work. He also shared the “Bad 4”: Money, Power, Pleasure, Fame. So try tweaking your routine to spending a bit more time in the former and less on the latter.

And if you’re not comfortable with organized religion, Arthur shared two alternatives for practicing faith: secular meditation and reading about big ideas like The Brothers Karamazov, Man's Search for Meaning or the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius.

Listen to my full interview with Arthur to learn more about happiness.

😞 Using Regrets to Your Advantage

Regrets… we’ve all got them! They’re part of the human condition. In Episode 40, bestselling author Dan Pink and I discussed “The Power of Regret” and he reminded us that while regret is an emotion that can make us feel bad, it can also be one of our most instructive, clarifying and informative emotions.

In his research, he gathered over 17,000 regrets from 105 countries and grouped them into four categories he calls the “Four Core Regrets.” While the nuance of all our regrets may seem very different, the main ones typically fall into these four areas:

  • Foundation - “If only I’d done the work” (e.g. didn’t pursue education, health or financial well-being)
  • Boldness - “If only I’d taken the chance” (e.g. didn’t ask someone out or start that business)
  • Moral - “If only I’d done the right thing” (e.g. infidelity, theft, betrayal, bullying)
  • Connection - “If only I’d reached out” (e.g. family/friend we neglected or drifted away from)

The big takeaway was that instead of letting your regrets keep you sad or bummed out, let them inform you on how to take future action. By reflecting on our regrets we can actually learn what we value the most and use that information to make better decisions and create deeper meaning. There’s a lot more to unpack in the book, but he left me with a few suggestions for everyone to try to avoid some regret down the road:

  • Always make the call - If you have an inkling to call someone to reconnect, take it.
  • Always go to funerals - No explanation needed.
  • Ask yourself what would you tell your best friend to do - sometimes it’s easier to make a decision when we pretend we’re not part of the outcome.
  • Convert your regrets from thoughts to words. Disclosure research is powerful. Instead of holding the heavy emotion inside all alone, convert it to language or even share them with others.

Listen to my full interview with Dan to learn more about the Power of Regret.

🤔 Is More Better?

In advance of baby #2, we went through our closets (and a few other rooms) to apply the “if I haven’t used this in the last few years, it goes” strategy. Three overflowing trash bags and a trip to Goodwill later, we felt lighter, clearer, and dare I say happier!?

As Denzel said, “You’ll never see a U-haul behind a hearse.” Acquiring stuff is surely not the key to happiness. Yet so often we buy things we don’t need, to impress people we don’t even like. In 2014, the LA Times shared that the average American home has 300,000 items inside of it! 🤯 Want to get started on the path of minimizing your possessions but need some motivation?

In Episode 54, Joshua Becker (award-winning author and founder Becoming Minimalist) did a deep dive on how minimalism can be a key to unlocking greater meaning. Yes, getting rid of some of our stuff is one piece of the puzzle, but he also suggested people unpack their why. There’s an emotional piece there too. He suggests everyone fill in the blank:

I desire to own less so that I can ____________

Digging into your why is a great exercise that makes it much easier to start the actual purging. And when you do get started, he suggests working through your home room by room, easiest to hardest, starting with the most lived in areas first.

Not only will you feel better about the lightening of your load, it’s an added bonus knowing that a lot of the stuff you aren’t using anymore can find a home with someone who needs it. A win-win!

A great truth is that our outer world reflects our inner. Creating a calm, peaceful, clear external and internal world is well worth the effort.

Listen to my full interview with Joshua to learn more about Minimalism and The Things That Matter.

📆 Schedule Some Kindness

While we all want happiness in our own lives, I’m sure we’d also benefit from everyone around us being happier too. One way to make that happen is to practice a bit more kindness, which can actually have a profound impact in our lives. Why? Well after getting introduced to Emmy award winning journalist Adrienne Bankert, I read her book “Your Hidden Superpower: The Kindness That Makes You Unbeatable at Work and Connects You with Anyone” and was fascinated.

She points out that kindness isn’t merely about getting along with people and being nice – it’s a game changer in business, the door-opener to opportunity, and the key to authenticity and confidence. We had a fantastic conversation in Episode 58 where she proposed that instead of having kindness be an afterthought or something that might make it into your day if there’s any leftover space, put it on your calendar like you would anything else on your calendar.

Whether you decide to make time for it once a week over your morning coffee or every afternoon, the idea is to build that muscle so that kindness becomes part of our natural DNA and is always top of mind. Some of her ideas for practicing kindness are:

  • Friendship Gratitude - reach out once a week or month to remind friends or colleagues that you appreciate their mark on your life (even if time has passed and you don’t see them regularly)
  • Past-Present-Future: cycle through those time periods to find people you can uplift with kindness. So if you’re a coach, you could send a positive text to a former player about the impact he/she had on your program, then let a current player choose their favorite drill to finish practice with and finally send a hand-written letter to a future recruit and let them know why they’d be a great addition to your team down the road.
  • Don’t ask, just do - If you ask the question, “what can I do to help you?” likely the person will give the obligatory “nothing”. Instead, try learning someone’s coffee order and bringing it for them one day. Or offer to mow the neighbor’s yard while you’re out doing yours. Or buy lunch for the person in line behind you. The list is endless, but the idea is to be on the lookout for ways to be kind to others.

Listen to my full interview with Adrienne to learn more making Kindness a superpower.

🌅 Start Your Day Right

It’s been said that the first 8 minutes in the morning sets the tone for your day. Consider taking inventory next week on what your morning habits include (you may have some you didn’t know existed). Do you jump straight on social media? Flip on the news? Start looking at your calendar for the day? Wolf down a quick breakfast? What kind of intentional routine do you have?

While a newborn is going to make changing my routine tricky the short term, I’m fascinated by Tony Robbins’ morning “priming” ritual. It’s only 10 minutes and encompasses breath work, gratitude, blessings, goal setting and celebration. Short and sweet, but powerful. Tony says it primes him for success in the day ahead and “if you don’t have 10 minutes for yourself, you don’t have a life.”

Another interesting routine comes from author Hal Elrod. He sets his tone for the day with “The Miracle Morning”, which is a daily personal development ritual he incorporated into his life that includes six of the most timeless personal growth practices (Silence, Affirmations, Visualization, Exercise, Reading, and Scribing). His results were monumental and he ended up creating a massive community out of this philosophy, and helping millions change the direction of their lives through morning habits.

Borrow some of these ideas or create your own. The important thing is being intentional with how you start your day, and ultimately, putting more emphasis on happiness!

⭕️ Your Circle

Lastly, and perhaps one of the most important indicators of our overall happiness, is the quality of our relationships. Do you have that inner circle of people that you can count on and live your life alongside? Or do you have a best friend at work?

National Geographic writer, Dan Buettner, has done a ton of research on places in the world where people live the longest and are the happiest and he found that one of the biggest predictors of whether you’ll be happy on a day to day basis is how many hours of face to face time you get with people you like. The happiest people are getting in 7 hours! And unfortunately for everyone working from home, he doesn’t think video calls have the same effect.

In his book “The Blue Zones of Happiness” Dan highlights a few places around the world where people are the happiest, but if you don’t have time for a book right now, I’d recommend his interview on The Marie Forleo’s Podcast.

So in an effort to make wherever you live a little happier, I’ll challenge you all to commit to a few more in-person connections with others on the regular. And if you want to take it further, try to strike up more conversations at the different places you spend your time each day, like the office, gym or park.


💰 Latest Deals

Each newsletter I’m going to try and pull together the top deals in the last two weeks so you don’t have to dig around online for deals.

🤑 All the Hacks Deals Site

I recently put together a site that aggregates all the latest offers/deals from all our partners. The relationships we have with them is what keeps this show going, so please consider supporting them. I personally use most of their products every week and before working with any brand, I research/references to make sure I’m proud to partner with them.

Get all our partner discounts and promo codes at allthehacks.com/deals

☕️ 10x Chase Points at Starbucks

Chase is offering 10x points when you use your Chase Sapphire Reserve®/Chase Sapphire Preferred® Card at Starbucks this summer. You just need to register for free at this link. Or if you have the Chase Freedom Unlimited/Chase Freedom Flex℠, you’ll get 5% cash back at Starbucks after registering at this link. You can only register one card per person, so do the 10x if you can.

💳 New Marriott Card Offer: 5 Free Nights

The Marriott Bonvoy Boundless® Credit Card has a new welcome offer that doesn’t actually include any points. Instead, you’ll get 5 free nights free, up to 50,000 points each or 250,000 points total after spending $5k in the first 3 months. That’s a $2,100 value if you use the 0.84¢/pt value The Points Guy found in an analysis of the value of Marriott points (and that’s after Marriott’s switch to dynamic pricing).

Also, you can now top off those certificates with up to 15,000 additional points per night, so you could use them on stays that cost up to 65,000 points/night. Though you can’t take advantage of Marriott’s 5th night free with these free nights.

If you can find a hotel you like that’s ≤ 65,000 points/night, it could be a great deal, but the free nights expire after a year, so make sure you have a plan before singing up here.

📈 Chase/American Express/Citi Transfer Bonuses

From time to time banks offer bonus points as incentives to transfer points to partners and there are 5 transfer bonuses happening right now. For each bonus, I’ll include a link to an article with examples of how you might take advantage of it.

  1. Amex: 25% bonus Air France Flying Blue points until 6/15 (link)
  2. Chase: 30% bonus to Virgin Atlantic until 6/15 (link)
  3. Citi: Up to 40% bonus to Qatar Airways until 6/30 (link)
  4. Chase: 30% bonus to British Airways Avois until 7/31 (link)
  5. Chase: 50% bonus Marriott Bonvoy points until 7/31 (link)

Note: these transfers are all irreversible, so I only recommend taking advantage of them if you’re certain you have a good use for the points.

🐕 50% Off Sundays Dog Food

My dog Finn is picky with food, but since the beginning of the year we've feeding him “Sundays for Dogs” and he loves it. And Amy and I love that it’s a human-grade dog food with no artificial ingredients, synthetic additives or fillers. For a limited time they’re offering 50% off your first order here so check it out.


🎙 Recent Episodes

#59: Save Money, Build Wealth and Just Keep Buying

Author Nick Maggiulli discusses the most important principles for saving money and building wealth, as well as investing during a market decline, evaluating risk and reasons to NOT max out your 401(k). Inside Tracker, Babbel, Masterworks and Sundays for sponsoring this episode!


#58: How Kindness Can Make You Unbeatable at Work and Connect You with Anyone

Emmy-award-winning journalist and author Adrienne Bankert discusses how to make kindness your hidden superpower, giving and receiving constructive criticism, and cultivating kindness within yourself. Thank you to Fabric and Athletic Greens for sponsoring this episode!


💭 Parting Thoughts

Thank you so much for reading! How’d you like this one? (click an emoji)

❤️ | 🙂 | 😐 | 🙁 | 😡

Your feedback will help make it great, so I’d love to hear your thoughts/suggestions. Please feel free to respond to this email and I promise to read and respond to every one. If there’s a topic you’d love me to dig into in an upcoming issue, please let me know.

Best,

Chris


All the Hacks is part of an affiliate sales network and receives compensation for sending traffic to partner sites, such as MileValue.com. This compensation may impact how and where links appear on this site. This site does not include all financial companies or all available financial offers. Terms apply to American Express benefits and offers. Enrollment may be required for select American Express benefits and offers. Visit americanexpress.com to learn more.

The content on this page is accurate as of the posting date; however, some of our partner offers may have expired.

Editor’s Note: Today, I’m grateful for the support of our partners MileValue, Inside Tracker, Babbel, Masterworks, Sundays, Fabric, BetterHelp, Athletic Greens. Opinions expressed here are the author's alone, not those of any bank, credit card issuer, hotel, airline, or other entity. This content has not been reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by any of the entities included within the post.

Chris Hutchins

Discover the latest and greatest hacks, deals and recommendations to upgrade and optimize your life, money and travel – all while spending less and saving more.

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